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Not Liable For the Superheroing Done In This Rescue

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Dec. 9th, 2006 | 11:20 pm

If I ever get hit by radioactive chemicals, find out I am really the last member of an extraterrestrial race, or spin myself around until I become supersmart, I know what kind of hero I would be.


I'd be the Phantom Stranger.

If I developed telepathy and heard people thinking about crimes they were going to or have commited, I would just show up at crime scenes, block out my presence for everyone but the lead cop and give him slightly vague, yet obvious clues, and disappear into the night.  No muss, no fuss.  

If I got superhuman prowess of some kind, yeah, I might do some of the legwork.  But ultimately, I'd pass info off cryptically, using my strength and speed to race off quickly and disappear before they can spot me.

Why the Stranger?

Because he basically does nothing.  Every time there's a global crisis, Stranger's either saying how he can't interfere or pointing out the obvious.  And that's exactly the kind of hero you need to be in this litigious world.  "Guy broke into your house trying to stop your abusive husband?  Hey, what's me, I just told him the woman looked a little roughed up."  Can't blame me for shite.

Plus, how many other heroes can pull off a medallion of that size?

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