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Year 2006: I Hate Iron Man

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Dec. 31st, 2006 | 12:28 am

There's a lot of things to look back on with gratitude and glee about 2006.  I participated in a taping of a comic book forum show a few weeks ago.  Morrison handled Batman properly.  Fabian Nicieza blended a companywide crossover into the storylines of two books seamlessly.  Power Boy.  Heart attacks.  The Rise of Brubaker at Marvel.  The Xbox 360 I got for Christmas.  Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters.  Joe Kelly making Supergirl likable.  The list goes on, and I may expound on it tomorrow.  For today, I will remember 2006 as the year I developed my hate for Iron Man.

It started slowly, this hatred.  All he did was choose to help the government regulate superhero activity.  Nick Fury did it all the time, and I thought he was the coolest one-eyed soldier since, well, maybe I shouldn't call him a 'one-eyed soldier'.  Anyway, while Cap was on the run taking out villains left and right, Mr. Stark was fighting suspiciously nondescript Doombots for photo ops with his SHIELD Avengers.  It was around this time that it started to seep in how much of an ass Stark had become.  In an effort to win support for the Registration, he basically coerced Spider-Man into revealing his identity on national television, thereby insuring that Peter would have to stick by him or have the Parker women as public targets.  Which they now are.  Then he enlisted Spidey into his army against Cap without telling Peter.  What a douche.

Then, he sets up a phony emergency to entrap Cap and the Secret Avengers, because, you know, having all the heroes confronting each other is the clearest symbol to villains that it's not safe to tear shit up.  He tags the black and gay guys and starts talking about pardons and joining forces.  Cap counters by harmlessly deactivating Iron Man's armor (and punching him a couple of times, whatever).  And how does Iron Man respond to this almost merciful takedown: by beating the holy shit out of Cap.   And gloating.  And while Reed probably holds most of the blame for Goliath's death , Mr. Stark did set up Goliath's completely disrespectful funeral .  You couldn't shrink him down, really?  Wrapped like the mummy of serial killer and dumped into a bare grave is the exact way I want to be buried.  And Heckle & Jeckle can come down and call me "a real piece of crap."  And, five months into making Stark the world's greatest jackass, we're supposed to be believe he feels bad about everything he has done.  It's hard to feel sorry for him while he's recruiting Bullseye and hanging out in his penthouse.

Really, the worst thing Iron Man has done in 2006 appears in New Avengers #23.  The rat bastard exposed Spider-woman while she was risking her ass to provide information on Hydra.    And had the nerve to be smug about it.  The woman is trusted by Captain America and Nick Fury, and instead of trusting her, hell, even trying to recruit her to the Pro-Reg side, he turns her over to SHIELD to be imprisoned.  For this and every other reason, Tony Stark is now the King of Assholes and I hope he gets his ass thoroughly handed to him before Civil War is over.  It is the only way justice will be done.

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from: anonymous
date: Jan. 2nd, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
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Somewhere in the back of my mind there is a blog post that is waiting to be written about how Tony and Reed's slip into evil would work, if only we were given some lead in time. Unfortunately, the rush to put out Civil War along with late Iron Man issues and JMS sucking, we were forced to believe that they would act the way they do instead of gradually showing it. But what can you do.

Spencer Carnage

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